Millennium Meetings

Forest Gate, Durning Hall, 1999 – 2019.

THEY CAME FOR A CUP OF TEA AND STAYED FOR THE LOVE OF A FELLOWSHIP.

The ‘millennium meetings’ offered a refuge from the pressure to socialise where alcohol may be a temptation during this difficult time of the year for most alcoholics. Having somewhere to go and feel at ease was essential and the idea was created by Ray, Margaret, Mick, Denis, Helen and many others over the years of service in helping others.

For twenty years the millennium meetings were put together for alcoholics who struggled at this time of year. Below we have members share their memories of attending these meetings from 9am New Year’s Eve to 10pm New Year’s Day. Get a cup of tea, and a biscuit and have a read.

Ray – “It Was Needed”

Margaret – I met Ray in Leytonstone for the start of the first ‘The Millennium Meetings’. My last drink was end of October 1999 after 3 and a half years of struggling to be part of this life-saving opportunity. That morning we set off to Durning Hall in Forest Gate to set the room up. The first meeting, if my memory serves me right had ‘Awesome’ or ‘Australian’ Terry and Chris, son of ‘Cork’ Willie doing the chair. Members came and went throughout the 40-odd hours. At the last meeting, people stayed for a good singsong. Over the years many members came to Millennium meetings before getting a bit of shut eye, all sober. Making it a safe refuge to stay away from the first drink on a night that can be difficult for alcoholics. It has been a privilege to be involved over the years as the treasurer and last year January 2020 I was asked by Ray to be secretary at the joint AA/Al-Anon. I came down from Norfolk to do this service for something that helped me. I will say the Millennium Meetings were the brainchild of a very forward-thinking man who has saved the lives of many people who wouldn’t have got through those 48 hours, including myself, as we are all living our wildest dreams. A hundred million thank yous to Ray.

Denis – In late summer of 1999 Ray approached me and others regarding setting up a marathon of meetings on New Year’s Eve 1999 and New Year’s Day 2000. To be called the Millennium meetings were classified as 12-step work more than a social occasion. The main benefit of the Millennium meetings was for the member who was going to experience their first New Year’s Eve alone or find it a struggle. The meetings gave solace and hope for the coming year. The second year was the first time we went through the night. This is where some members found a safe haven.
The music at the end of the meetings was spontaneous in the first year. It made a lovely finish to the two days. Thus, the sing-along at the end became a regular. It has been a privilege and an honour to be part of the organisation committee at Forest Gate since that first meeting. For twenty years the millennium meetings were there to help members get through those difficult times, people travelled from all over London, Kent and Essex to be with like-minded people.

Carole – I feel safe there, I can stay all the way through the night, and sleep in the back room if I need to, many did. Having fellowship with different people from all over London, as we all do a little bit of service, how it all comes together is the time and effort Ray and his committee put into this makes it an amazing and safe place to be amongst fellow alcoholic. Everyone is on the same page, it’s a safe place and a oneness about it. all

Freddy – The Millennium meetings were a great help to me in my first year or two.  I learnt to mix and socialise after being a recluse and antisocial for the last few years of my isolated drinking. The entertainment side really helped me to socialise with others and see bands there like ‘Trombone’ Annie and her choir and a band called The Resentments who eventually split up over resentment. The live music and Karaoke were great. Later in my recovery, I was fortunate to take people to their first meetings at the event and met many newcomers there. Many people I spoke to said it was so good for them over the New Year period especially in early recovery as it’s a safe place to go.

Chris W – On the morning of 1/1/2000 I held the early riser meeting. I left home early to pick up four other people. At the third pick-up, we were in thick snow….I got a puncture!!! What do we do??? Solution, call the AA. A very hungover young man arrived and could not understand our joviality. I started the meeting listening to Snead O’Connor singing “Make Me a channel of Your Peace” and we all shared our Gratitude.

Thank you, Ray, for your enduring service and I’m certain the New Year meetings will continue the legacy

Helen  – I have attended every new year since being sober. I struggle with New Year more than Christmas and just knowing they are there 24 hours a day is a great comfort. I love seeing members from early sobriety who moved away. The come-and-go element is where we can pop into the café with a newcomer. I truly believe these meetings have got me through. Having somewhere to go and be, however you are feeling over this period is priceless. As for the posh biscuits and treats don’t get me started…! I would like to thank Ray for his service in starting these meetings and having them there for us all. The millennium meetings have got me through by taking that day as another day. I do not go out for New Year’s and take it as another day and the millennium meetings help me feel I’m not “missing out” I belong somewhere and I can do service and that I am needed and wanted and loved. long may they continue to thank God for AA. 

Gary – My first new year in recovery was 2005 and I was struggling, I was five months sober. Me and my buddy Tom arrived at 9:30am New Year’s Eve morning. The first meeting was at 10am and boy did we need it. Ruth was the secretary, and Nora was doing the chair. I drank tea, and ate biscuits like there was no tomorrow. I stayed until 4am and came back at 1pm in the afternoon and stayed till 9pm. Those millennium meetings at Durning Hall were lifesavers for me and countless others

Eddie – I have loved the millennium meetings over the ten years I have been going. Doing service there helped me fall in love with AA. It helped me and was great to see how it reached out to help everyone who suffered over the new period. Praise to Ray who as we all know played a major role in setting this up keeping it going and keeping the dream alive.

Marcella – The millennium meetings at Forest Gate over the new-year period are a beacon of hope, especially in the darkest day of winter. I have attended meetings at all times of the day and night. Enjoyed toast for breakfast, received lovely hot cups of tea and was greeted by friendly faces that have always welcomed me with such warmth. For me, it has been an opportunity to catch up with people I haven’t seen for a while, as well as meet new people and hear the experience, strength and hope of the speakers. Auld Lang Syne is a lot of fun at midnight seeing in the new year. One year I joined Tony the guitarist with my violin, which is something I would never have done previously. I feel a lot of benefits, as they have added another dimension to my life, provided me with happy memories, and provided a lot of reasons to not stay home and be lonely and miserable.

Dwight – They were good to me when I first came out of treatment, I found it a safe place to go to over the new year. I liked the fact I could dip in and out. I helped make the tea in 2019/2020 and had the privilege of taking one of the meetings, which was an honour.

Harry – Had a lot of fun at the millennium meetings, first year I went dressed as Caesar with my son. No idea why I was dressed as Caesar. We had gone to a party before

Eric –I spend a lot of time over Christmas in forced social situations with family that I don’t normally spend time with, being mindful of others, trying hard to participate, being helpful and contributing in a positive way. The Millennium Meetings are a break from thinking of others to focus on me for a while”

Karen – I was about 11 months sober when I went to my first-millennium meeting. That grubby old hall I saw, I thought was going to be sparkling because of New Year’s Eve. I listened to the meetings, and what made me laugh was a member who swears a lot, I thought to myself thank F I don’t swear like her…that was how mad I was, I was still off my head. I took some numbers that night, one of them was Irish Jean’s number (This is bringing a bit of a lump to my throat). I burst out crying when the bagpipes played at midnight, I was absolutely sobbing and Irish Jean, asked what’s the matter? I told her it was my first sober new year. I helped light the candles that year when Ray went to get them. My first New Year sober…I’m so grateful for what that meeting gave to me. I’ve done service every year after, because of what it gave me and every year I tell Ray to put me down for service, even in July.

Hainault Mick- I was involved in the first meeting in 1999 which was Toothpick Ray’s idea. I was Secretary on New Year’s Day of the last meeting, which I had done for about 16 years, but had to give up due to ill health. The meeting was usually followed with a sing-song led by ‘Cork’ Willie, where people play instruments and sing till late evening, this has gradually stopped. It’s been a great idea, especially for newcomers to see what this fellowship is all about. 

Jitu – Don’t leave before the miracle happens, they said. I started attending meetings at the end of March 2017 whilst still in the madness. I didn’t like meetings but had nowhere else to go, my last drink was on 20th May 2017. I was finding it difficult to connect and feel part of the fellowship. I listened, yet only heard differences. I wanted AA to show me how to drink as a non-Alcoholic. I had no desire to do the 12 steps and certainly wasn’t going to make teas and coffees for a bunch of Alkys. Not understanding, keeping it in the day, think, think, think and many more, one thing I heard was to keep coming back and I did, possibly through fear. At the 2017 millennium meeting, I was asked to help make teas, which I did and began listening. Suddenly started to hear similarities and heard this is an honest programme. I had not been honest with myself, let alone anyone else. As I stayed the more acceptance, I got of being an Alcoholic, I guess my heart accepted what my mind already knew. What really changed at the meeting? I don’t know, but a great sense of relief came over me and I felt a part of this fellowship. I found a sponsor to take me through the programme, which taught me a lot about myself. The desire to drink has finally been taken away, I’m grateful I hung around for the miracle, I did not get A.A. but gratefully A.A. got me.

Victoria – They have been vital, especially knowing they are there for two days is a form of security for me. Just being there has been a lifesaver for me and others within the fellowship. It felt like an all-nighter, I got the same vibe on New Year’s Day as If I’d been in a club. I was buzzing after doing the chair. Those two days saved lives for many of us.

Mathew – It was my first experience of being with others over the new year and not drinking, but having fun and connecting with like-minded people. It was my training ground for future New Year’s eve’s, Christmases and weddings. it was where I learned to how to have fun, chat and not drink.

Elaine – I moved to London in September 2009. The New Year Millennium meetings were something I’d never experienced before in my time in recovery.  I volunteered for a tea slot which has never failed in helping me feel a part of it. It’s actually hard to describe in words what it has actually meant to me since then. The Hall is not at all an attractive place to be and yet every year I found myself being drawn there just to ‘see who’s there’ and getting so much more than meeting up with other fellows. It felt like a kind of haven for meetings, fellowship and a place to just ‘hang out’. Not to mention the abundance of tea and toast, plus all the sweets members bring along to share. It has also given me a great sense of pride when members travel to enjoy the East London welcome.

Brendan – I did the tea there one year, by accident. I got to Forest Gate at about 2pm and went behind the counter to make myself a tea. Someone came up to the counter asked me for a tea, thinking I was doing service…..five hours later I was still doing it and it was great.  Me and Connie from Walthamstow did the service together. I remember at least six members bringing boxes of chocolates that day. Four boxes…..were liqueurs!! They went straight in the bin of course.  I still think about it each new year.

Laura – I’ve been so appreciated over the years of the millennium meetings whether looking for a viable alternative or just wanting to see some familiar faces in a happy, sober welcoming environment. I’ve raced there as a fool proof pan b when other plans didn’t work out. I felt at home, safe and feel the year that is coming will be doable. I always realise, it is always a day at a time.

John – My abiding memory of the first millennium meeting was going to the 10pm meeting and sharing: Thanks Ray and thanks everyone, every night for the last two years and three months I have either put my kids to bed or gone to a meeting. This is the first time I have done both in one night.”